Apollo 13

Our love hasn't arrived yet.

It's still in the dock waiting for all the hinges to be oiled, optimum efficiency to be reached, waiting for all the necessary parts.

In the meantime, you and I, we are actively participating sliding doors.

We are too stubborn, too afraid and too cautious to declare our thoughts and our intents.

We dance around them by lavishing our stanzas everywhere else but face to face.

When we look at each other, our eyes are like chequers looking for the next move and peripheral square to land in. Anywhere but directly in front. God forbid moving in a straight line.

We are opposite sides of the same coin, but we have spent years looking for a head under a head and for tails under a tails.

We have come close enough times, but one of us always aborts the mission.

Neither of us wants to take the risk when the destination isn't certain.

I think I'm tired. I think I'm tired of wondering if this should happen, will happen, or will work.

I'm getting my house in order, I am fixing my faults and I am getting ready to launch my better self.

I am giving you first dibs...

But if you are unwilling to stop skiing down the slope away from me,

If you continue to create a Sistine chapel of prose everywhere else but here,

If you refuse to even front crawl towards a mutual purpose(see I'm not asking you to run, I only require you to be moving straight ahead - I am crawling too),

If you insist on sabotaging take off,

If you love teetering on the brink of your inadequacies and fears,

Then this time I will let you sink,

And I will soar, I will soar, I will soar,

Without you.

First published: December 8th 2018