S2, Account 3: Regina
My son is the apple of my eye. No parent could ask for a better son. A hard-worker, academically excellent, respectful, handsome, honestly I thank the Lord for his life every day. He is the embodiment of mine and his father’s dreams. At his graduation I might have been the proudest mother alive. He worked so hard for that moment, a Bachelor’s in Civil Engineering. The first in our family to have a degree. My boy became a man.
Something was a bit off though. Cory was smiling and laughing with us and the rest of the family there, but I don’t know, there seemed to be something a bit aloof about him. I didn’t trouble myself with it at first, I put it down to him just being nervous (he’s a bit of an introvert, and he knows how huge this moment was for our family), but then I saw him look at his phone, and all of a sudden tears were streaming down his face. Everyone else interpreted it as happy tears of overwhelming emotion, but I knew better. I have a mother’s instinct. In my heart I knew that wayward boy in utter selfishness, had contacted his brother and upset him. On his graduation day! I was seething.
I didn’t want to make a scene so I just went up to Cory, hugged him, told him how much I loved him, and told him to focus on his future and leave past things in the past. He looked me dead in my eyes and I can tell he understood what I was saying and could tell that I knew his brother was the reason behind his tears. For a split second it felt like he pushed me away from him, but then I realised it was his girlfriend pulling him away on his other arm. Why would Cory push me away? It didn’t make sense, so I dismissed that ludicrous thought.
That boy does not get to insert himself back into this family in any capacity. We did our best for him, and he chose an iniquitous lifestyle and tried to corrupt others even younger than him! Every time I think on it, my stomach fills with bile and the pain and shame of knowing my womb carried such an aberrant individual.
We did not bring him up like that. We instilled values, respect, morals and faith into our children. We worked hard to provide for them, we enabled them to get the best education they could, and he repaid that with drugs and dealing. Sometimes when my mind forces me to dwell on that humiliating event, I ask God why He allowed me to bring such a being into this world. Now he roams the streets with other delinquents, putting our family name to shame. He is wasted potential and he is no son of mine. I thank God that none of his wicked ways rubbed off on Cory. In every way that he is deficient, Cory is proficient, and that is the grace of God. That boy’s lifestyle will ruin him, but God knows we did our best.
Originally posted: October. 29, 2020